BREAKING NEWS: Unknown hatted person bombs senior photos

Small town chaos, odd occurrences, and one very dramatic backwards hat

by staff writer, suspiciously wearing sunglasses indoors

Local tranquility SHATTERED this afternoon as a unknown individual—with a suspicious hat screaming, “I know what I’m doing”—infiltrated a senior photo session. The session, organized for Clare Kernan, a beloved local high schooler, was doing a, “Look at the camera and smile” jig, when the person emerged out of lurking darkness and jumped onto the back of Kernan, snagging his spot in the album. 

(SOURCES COMFIRM 7PH2)

“At first I thought it was a man”, noted an onlooker, “but when the face popped out of the darkness, I realized ‘OH MY GOSH ITS A CHILD!’”

Later in the shoot, after shots like “gaze-wistfully-into-the-pond” and “jump-around-like-a-maniac-and-I’ll-edit-it-to-look-cool” were complete, the figure came again and made friends with the senior. 

 The photographer, meanwhile, was last seen quietly editing out said individual from at least 10 JPEGs while muttering, “why are they dapping?” (SEE PICTURE FOR EVIDENCE)

Thanks for reading! If you didn’t realize it, this was a parody. Recently, my sister took senior photos near our house. I dropped by, and the photographer captured this couple pictures. 

God bless!